Whose Side I’m On

These are divisive times

My social media feed is a mess of opposites right now. I see on one side women celebrating the peaceful, love-filled marches they participated in over the weekend, and on the other side, people – women included – questioning and even mocking and degrading those efforts. I see posts supporting the president, and those vehemently opposing him. In this environment, it appears that people who I love are divided in opinion, and worse, divided against each other.

I have my own opinions, of course, but for the most part try to refrain from getting involved in politics online. Within my church my political leanings are in the minority, and within my political party my religious affiliation is in the minority. As a person who isn’t a huge fan of contention, deliberately stepping into a discussion that will almost certainly devolve to confrontation and frustration is something I like to avoid.

The echo chamber

We are told we should stand up for what we believe, but to state your opinion in social media can frequently sound more like correcting someone or belittling them for their beliefs, rather than calmly and gently expressing your own. There’s also the problem of the echo chamber that is a result of those we interact with on these forums. We “like” and comment on those posts we agree with, which results in us feeling secure in our opinions, to the point where it’s easy to forget there are just as many people with differing opinions.

The danger in surrounding ourselves with empty validations is that we lose perspective, and sometimes even empathy. This echo chamber then makes it nearly impossible to engage in open conversations with people of differing opinions, as there is too much shouting from all sides for calm and reasonable conversations.

From an article on the church’s newsroom site about engaging with civility, we read, “Our differences have more meaning when they enter into conversation with other differences. Otherwise, we get stuck in our own social cloisters. Creativity suffers in the classroom or town hall when new ideas are barred from discussion. But when we engage with the broader community we discover that we don’t have to resemble others to respect others.”

Jesus’ example

During the  election season and subsequent inauguration, I frequently debated with myself how and when to respond to issues that I had very strong opinions about. As always, I found the truest counsel from the life of Jesus Christ.

No stranger to political tumult himself – viewed by the Jews as the person who would save them from oppression, which in turn made him a threat to the Roman government in Jerusalem – Jesus certainly saw conflict and contentious situations. He was frequently taunted by Jewish local leaders as they sought to entrap Him.

Consider some of His responses to similar situations we face today.

The woman taken in adultery

In John 8:3-11, we read the story of the woman taken in adultery. Of course the larger plot of the Jewish political leaders is their desire to trap Jesus so they can imprison and punish Him. When the crowd is angry and unruly, he chooses to say nothing, “…as though He heard them not” (John 8:6).

Then He takes the higher road, choosing instead to focus on the accused woman rather than try and defend Himself. Here is this woman who is being used as an example (whatever happened to the man who was committing adultery with her?). The crowd is ready to judge, condemn, and punish her on the spot. In such a situation, can you imagine how she must have felt as the Son of God kneels beside her? Surely she gained comfort from His presence. Even the act of silently acknowledging her – an accused “criminal” – would have strengthened her.

Then, instead of condemning her, He does what we should all learn to do – offer compassion and a second chance.

“The Savior was interested in the person more than the problem. He invited us to not judge, and then He demonstrated that forgiveness fosters love and that casting stones simply wouldn’t solve the problem or bring about a solution.” (1985–April Conference Report, p. 24, John Sonnenberg, “The Invitation of the Master.“)

Pilate’s judgement

The second example to consider is in Matthew 27:11-14 when Jesus is in court being judged by Pilate. Realizing that whatever he said would make no difference or change anyone’s opinion about Him, other than the barest minimum, he said nothing.

Surely Jesus considered many variables before responding in each situation. Is the person angry? Or humble? Will the person listen?  Has the person heard so much falsehood that he/she will be deaf to the truth? Is he/she riled up?

How to respond?

Looking at His example, here are some additional questions I consider before adding my paltry two cents to a discussion:

• Do I want to correct because I feel offended?
• Do I want to correct the falsehood because I feel attacked?
• Does adding my voice to the noise add to the noise or become a clarion call?

The pinnacle of this higher law is found in Matthew 5:44: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” This is not a conditional plea. It’s not “love your enemies once they realize you were right and they were wrong and come crawling back to you asking forgiveness.” Nor is it, “Do good to those who do good to you, or when there’s something in it for you.” Not even, “Pray for others when you feel like maybe you need some extra blessings.” No, it is none of those things. It is hard counsel – hard to hear, harder to implement.

Whose side I’m on

Difficult as it may seem, we can all take steps in that direction. Gordon B. Hinckley frequently implored the members of the Church of Jesus Christ to live visibly Christian lives by being a little kinder. “Why do any of us have to be so mean and unkind to others? Why can’t all of us reach out in friendship to everyone about us? Why is there so much bitterness and animosity? It is not a part of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”  (Gordon B. Hinckley April 2006 General Conference, “The Need for Greater Kindness.“)

It doesn’t matter what political party I belong to, who I voted for, or if I marched. What does matter if I am more kind today than yesterday, doing my best to follow Jesus’ example.

And so today I declare where I stand: I stand with Jesus, on His side, and declare myself to be His follower.

“As we contemplate the full meaning of the phrase ‘Come, follow me,’ it is apparent that we may have much to learn and much to do before we can fully respond to that injunction. It is of interest, however, that during the first 30 years of His life in Nazareth, Jesus apparently drew little attention to Himself even though He was living a sinless life. That should encourage us to do better in our own quiet and humble way without drawing attention to ourselves. The admonition to ‘Come, follow me’ and the question ‘What would Jesus do?’ provide powerful guidelines for living. Paying more attention to these guidelines will help all of us become more Christlike in our thoughts and actions.” (2003–October, Conference Report p. 93, William W. Parmley*, “Come, Follow Me.“)

* William Parmley was my stake president when I left to serve a mission, and his wife, Shanna, was my excellent stake young women’s president. I was delighted to find this quote from him that so perfectly fit this message!